Sharmika

** TRIGGER WARNING. THIS BLOG POST INCLUDES DISCUSSION OF TRAUMATIC AND DIFFICULT BIRTHING EXPERIENCES WHICH SOME READERS MAY FIND DISTRESSING **

Hello everyone,

My name is Sharmika Dockery I am 25 years old and this is my son Riley who is now 7. I  have had chronic abdomen, hip and leg pain since the birth of my son Via emergency C-section  7 years ago.

After the c-section I was in excruciating pain, My scar hurt horribly, and at night I was sweating right through my clothes and bed sheets, to the point I was changing them 4/5  times a night.

I kept asking the midwifes about these strange  symptoms but they said “ It was probably because I was breastfeeding”.

I even saw my gp at the time who told me my pain was “because everything was stuck together”. 

Eleven days after Riley’s birth, another midwife came to visit who noted my high temperature and blood pressure and sent me to A&E.

I was now passing heavy blood clots and in agony but was sent home with oral antibiotics.

Later that evening, my temperature rocketed and I was taken to hospital in an ambulance. 

The next day I insisted on further investigations — which revealed part of the placenta had been left behind, causing an infection.

I then was told I needed surgery, but on my third day in hospital,I was told that I wouldn’t receive the surgery as my “head wasn’t falling off”. 

I then eventually had the surgery later that day only after a nurse insisted on bringing a surgeon to see me. 

The nurse said “Something is not right here”

And within minutes she brought a surgeon and I was being prepared for surgery and had surgery to remove retained products.

I feel like that nurse saved my life!

Please any mother whom is going to have a baby make sure you have a informed responsible advocate to have around during your birth and after birth so if you are unwell this advocate can speak on your behalf.

I have since battled crippling chronic pain and have needed repeated surgery.

I have also suffered permanent nerve damage in my pelvis and legs.

This had affected my bond with Riley, in the first few years As I spent so much time in and out of hospital. And in and out of surgery.

In the last few months I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may not be pain free, and that it’s best to focus on what I do have and what I can do so I’m learning ways to adapt to motherhood around being in pain everyday.

There was many times through my journey where I felt like I was the only one going through these battles, like I was alone until I started to share my story online, I then connected with many families who had similar experiences to me, and helped so much.

I create BEYOND STRENGTH to help other families similar to ours that may feel isolated to help them connect with other families whilst having their voices heard and valued.