Fiona
Geriatric motherhood
As a 37 year old woman entering the healthcare system as a pregnant woman, I assumed that the biggest ‘issue’ for consultants, midwives, nurses, etc would be my weight. As soon as I told them I was pregnant, they weighed me and gasped.
It didn’t occur to me that my age would be a problem for anybody. Perhaps some comments on social media or from random people on the street (people love to give unrequested opinions!) but there were subtle prejudices against my age that I hadn’t expected.
The one that sticks out most was regarding the tests done at around 12 weeks for multiple syndromes, the majority of which are fatal. These tests are not obligatory, each woman has the right to accept or refuse them. Except for me. I was told that, because of my age, I should have the blood test that would decide whether or not there was a higher risk. There is no history of any of the conditions in my family and the only reason they hammered it home to me was because of my age. When the results came back, they were at the top end of the ‘low risk’ percentage but they still sent me to have an amniocentesis and scans, procedures that women younger than me with the same results would not have been so heavy-handedly advised to have.
They made me feel like I would have been irresponsible if I didn’t have them, despite the small risk of miscarriage. I spent that whole time terrified - were they saying that it was likely for my child to be born with one of the fatal illnesses? Why else would they have insisted on the test?
Because of my age. And I know that now. If I had to do it all again, I would do my research and give myself the time to really consider what I wanted to do.
I honestly wish that I had been more perceptive regarding the microaggressions that I experienced because of my age - perhaps naively, it was totally unexpected. Instead of being treated with care and positivity, I spent a lot of my pregnancy in fear, almost exclusively because of how I was made to feel whenever I interacted with the health system.
